150+ Funny Instagram Bio’s to Shock Your Profile

Instagram is one of the most popular social network in the world and the most between the young people. So everyone want’s to add some burst to the profile. Many people say  “the first impression is the last impression?”  So you need a good bio for your profile. Also, keep in mind that people the first thing they read is the bio, for that reason you need an awesome and funny Instagram bio.

In this article, I have collected from creative to sarcastic bio’s with a touch of fun. Captivate your Instagram followers. I’m sure that you will enjoy each of them.

Thanks for Mashtrelo for these cool bio’s. You can find a lot of great things for your Instagram. Visit Mashtrelo.com

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2.  “Of course, I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my a$$”
3 .”I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday.”
4.  “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
5.  “I was born. When I was 11, I got my first computer. Then I started posting pics on Instagram. That’s still what I am doing. The end.”
6.  “I’m going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One Don’t reveal everything.”
7.  “Is everything expensive or am I just poor”
8.  “Losing everything but weight”
9.  “People say you’ve changed, well I couldn’t stay a sperm forever could I”

11. “I have to be funny because being hot is not an option”
12. “Accept who you are, unless you’re a serial killer.”
13. “I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”
14.  “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
15.  “If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool.”
16.  “If I keep paying attention, I’m going to be in debt”
17.  “I love my computer because all my friends live inside it”
18.  “Last name hungry, first name always”
19.  “Who said money can’t buy happiness, I think he was using money wrong”

21.  “The most you can expect from me is unconditional like.”
22.  “I’m saving my abstinence for marriage.”
23.  “I haven’t seen a sunrise in so long I joined Instagram.”
24.  “One day I shall solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be alcohol.”
25.  “I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. Just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.”
26.  “I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.”
27.  “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.”
28.  “I say no to alcohol Daily, it just doesn’t listen.”
29.  “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.”

31.  “I never make the same mistake twice.A minimum of 5-7 times is typically necessary in order for me to learn anything.”
32.  “Friends are like b@@bs.You’ve got big ones, small ones, real ones and fake ones.”
33.  “My road to success always seems to be under construction.”
34.  “I am known at the gym as the “before picture.”
35.  “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe one day you’ll find a brain back there.”
36.  “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”
37.  “I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours”
38.  “I always learn from mistakes of others who take my advice”
39.  “I still don’t understand Instagram, but here I am.”

Kiran – Instagram Stories & Post Template

More Ideas About Funny Bio’s for Instagram

40.  “Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going”
41.  “At last, I graduated…….Now thermometer is not the only thing in the world having degrees without brains”
42.  “Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.”
43.  “Spreading smiles like their herpes”
44.  “A Nomad in search for the perfect burger. Do not judge me before you know me, but just to inform you, you won’t like me”
45.  “Contributing To Entropy Since 1992.”
46.  “I am not on Instagram. Go do something useful.”
47.  “The best of me is yet to come”
48.  “There are two kinds of people in this world… And I don´t like them”

50.”Everyone on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius”
51.”People of my age are busy with Relation, breakup, heartbreak, patch ups and I am still figuring out a way to wake up before 10 am.”
52.”I am so poor, I can’t even pay attention”
53.”I’m not lazy…I’m on energy saving mode”
54.”I’m COOL but Global Warming made me HOT”
55.”Our marriage is like workshops. I work and my wife shops!”
56.”Bio under construction…check back soon!”
57.”Life is too short. Don’t waste it copying my Bio..!”
58.”I have Good News and Bad News to tell you. The Bad News is I don’t have Good News to tell you. And the Good News is I don’t have Bad News for you”

Top Funny Instagram Bio’s

60.”Stop being in the Rat Race and start living your life.”
61.”Sky is Not the Limit the Mind is”
62.”Remember that guy that gave up? Neither does no one else.”
63.”Me fail English? That’s possible!”
64.”Buddy, can you paradigm?”
65.”Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.”
66.”The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”
67.”I am so open-minded, my brains will fall out some day.”
68.”We are all going to hell, and I am driving the bus”

70.”I’m not glad it’s “Friday” I’m glad it’s “Today”. I Love my life 7 days a week”
71.”I’m not smart. I just wear glasses”
72.”I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too.”
73.”Life is dumb and I want to sleep”
74.”Mama said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get”
75.”My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner”
76.”The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation”
77.”Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?”
78.”You can follow me if you feel like it. You can also put peanut butter in your but#hole, if you feel like it”

*In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker…! [Wood Allen]

80.”I am 10, on the pH scale, maybe. Cuz I am basic”
81.”Making History”
82.”On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m an 11″
83.”I’ve never been able to figure out this damn Instagram bio thing”
84.”This is my last Instagram bio ever”
85.”I have not failed…my success just postponed for some time.”
86.”When nothing seems right….go left!!”
87.”Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.”
88.”Study economics when you’re unemployed, at least you’ll know why.”

90.”Knowledge is knowing what today.Wisdom is knowing whether to say it or not”
91.”One person’s LOL is another’s WTF”
92.”I will be back before you pronounce afjkhnfkualnfhukcakecnhkj.”
93.”Always give your 100 percent ….unless you’re donating blood.”
94.”God is really creative, I mean ..just look at me.”
95.”Life is too short to update Instagram bio”
96.”Too busy to update a bio”
97.”Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Instagram bio….”
98.”Instagram bio is loading…”
99.”Error: Bio unavailable”
100.”Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, just like stupid falls from yours”

Glorious Instagram Quotes Stories Pack

Cute Instagram Bio’s

The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love.
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
The reason I like you is simple – love, laughter, and your smile.
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
Please don’t forget to smile.
Relationships these days start by pressing like on her photo.
Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with You.
Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.
I’d rather spend one moment holding you than a lifetime knowing I never could.
There is no other woman in the world like you. I am the luckiest man alive to be able to call you mine.
I’ve fallen in love many times always with you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Fabulous ends in “us” coincidence? I think not.
I want a cute, long relationship where everyone is like damn they’re still together?
Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.
My life with you is something that I would never trade, even for all of the riches under heaven.
All the blood, sweat, and tears will be worth it when I get to spend forever by your side.
It’s funny how people say they miss you, but don’t even make an effort to see you.
I’m not perfect. I’ll annoy you, make fun of you, say stupid things, but you’ll never find someone who loves you as much as I do.
You’ll know they’re special when no matter what kind of mood you’re in, they can always manage to make you smile.
To be brave is to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return.
Sometimes, it’s better to be alone… No one can hurt you.
If you dare, take my hand and take me to where your heart is. I want to feel what it’s like to love like you.
When you love me like that, I melt into honey. Let’s be sweet together.

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